Cultivating Embodied Capacity for Conflict: How the University of Maryland is Training Individuals to Bridge Divides and Sustain Relationships

Navigating the complexities of human interaction, especially in a world marked by divergent perspectives and high-stakes emotional landscapes, often feels like an insurmountable challenge. From mundane frustrations at the post office to the intense dynamics of community gatherings and professional committees, the reality that humanity operates as a collective project can test even the most resilient individuals. Yet, accepting this collaborative imperative is crucial for fostering the greater good, a principle underscored by decades of experience in facilitating group projects across diverse sectors. This understanding highlights that healthy conflict is not an impediment but a necessary component of effective collaboration. What has emerged in recent years, however, is the revelation that engaging in conflict can be a systematically developed skill, allowing individuals to navigate disagreement without compromising their sense of self or their relationships.

At the forefront of this transformative approach are Jazmin Pichardo and Beth Douthirt-Cohen, frequent collaborators at the University of Maryland. Their joint mission is to empower individuals to strengthen their capacity for engaging across differences in power and identity. Pichardo articulates their overarching goal as "shifting our culture so that we can talk, work, and be better humans together," a vision that resonates deeply within an increasingly polarized society. Their methodology moves beyond conventional conflict resolution, focusing on embodied practices that equip participants to face painful conversations while maintaining connection and integrity.

The University of Maryland’s Commitment to Bridging Differences

The University of Maryland serves as a poignant backdrop for Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen’s groundbreaking work. The institution, like many others globally, has grappled with the profound impact of social and racial tensions. A significant catalyst for deeper engagement in truth and reconciliation processes was the tragic murder of Richard Collins III, a Black Bowie State University student, on the UMD campus in May 2017. Collins was fatally stabbed by Sean Urbanski, a white University of Maryland student, in an incident that was investigated as a hate crime. This devastating event sent shockwaves through the university community and beyond, igniting urgent conversations about systemic racism, campus climate, and the imperative for fostering a more inclusive and understanding environment.

In the wake of this tragedy, the University of Maryland intensified its commitment to addressing issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion, recognizing the need for proactive measures to prevent future harm and heal deep-seated divisions. Beth Douthirt-Cohen, as Director of Strategic Initiatives for Undergraduate Studies and Political Faculty at the University of Maryland School of Public Health, has been instrumental in supporting these truth and reconciliation processes. Her involvement is further bolstered by her background as an alum of the Greater Good Science Center’s (GGSC) Bridging Differences in Higher Education Learning Fellowship, and her work is featured in the GGSC’s Bridging Differences in Higher Education Playbook. Jazmin Pichardo, as Faculty of Practice and Director of Intergroup Dialogue Collaborations and Partnerships at the University of Maryland College of Education’s Intergroup Dialogue Training Hub, complements this effort by spearheading initiatives that directly train students and faculty in intergroup dialogue.

These initiatives position UMD as a vital hub for developing practical, replicable models for constructive engagement across differences. The institutional commitment provides a robust framework for Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen’s pedagogical innovations, demonstrating that cultivating skills for healthy conflict is not merely an academic exercise but a societal necessity.

The Foundational Skill: "Choosing Relationship"

At the core of Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen’s curriculum is the profound concept of "choosing relationship." As Douthirt-Cohen explains, this doesn’t necessarily imply forming a close friendship, but rather making a deliberate decision to remain connected and engaged with another person, even when confronted with significant disagreement or discomfort. This choice is particularly challenging when the easier path might be to disengage – whether by physically leaving a room, mentally checking out, or pretending to listen.

Pichardo elaborates that this choice involves "facing the conflict rather than running away, freezing, feeling still, or even getting defensive and argumentative." It shifts the intention from a desire to be right or shut down an opposing view to a genuine aspiration to learn, understand, and seek common ground, even without achieving full agreement. This intentional stance, Douthirt-Cohen adds, grants individuals "more choice in the way that I want to respond," moving beyond instinctive reactions. It reframes discomfort not as an immediate danger to be avoided, but as valuable information, paving the way for new and constructive responses. This capacity, they emphasize, is built through "micro-moments" of conscious practice, challenging ingrained patterns of perceiving discomfort solely as a threat.

Building Capacity: From Awareness to Embodied Practice

Recognizing that few individuals are inherently equipped for deep, honest conversations about sensitive issues like legacies of racist harm, ableism, or gender-based violence, Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen’s program is meticulously structured to build capacity incrementally. The journey begins long before participants are asked to engage in challenging dialogues.

1. Naming the Inevitable and Building Somatic Awareness:
The first step involves proactively acknowledging that disagreement and defensive reactions are an inevitable part of human interaction. Participants are prepared for the reality that their bodies will experience sensations of uncertainty and discomfort. The focus then shifts to developing "somatic awareness" – the ability to perceive these bodily sensations (e.g., tension, rapid heartbeat) not as threats, but as "data, as information." Students are guided to "notice what happens in your body when you feel defensive, when you feel challenged, when you feel uncomfortable," and to reflect on the stories they tell themselves in those moments. This process is crucial for detaching from automatic stress responses and fostering a more conscious engagement.

2. Grounding in Values and Shared Investment:
To anchor participants during moments of heightened tension, the program emphasizes identifying and articulating personal and shared values. Douthirt-Cohen prompts participants to consider, "What matters to you? Is there an ancestor you want to call on or a value you want to call on that orients you in those moments?" Pichardo adds that collectively, participants identify "a shared connection—a shared investment" and "shared values," which become a powerful motivation to "work on not throwing each other away." This communal agreement creates a framework for enduring difficult conversations.

3. Creating a Safe "Container" for Practice:
A critical element of their pedagogy is the establishment of a "container" – a classroom or workshop space explicitly designated as a practice ground for new ways of interacting. Participants are invited to "suspend" their ingrained conflict-avoidant or judgmental tendencies and experiment with different modes of being with one another. This intentional framing fosters a sense of psychological safety, allowing for vulnerability and experimentation without the fear of real-world repercussions. It acknowledges that the journey of unlearning and relearning requires a protected environment.

4. Self-Awareness of Conflict Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn:
A foundational exercise involves asking participants, "Who are you in conflict?" This question encourages deep self-reflection on individual stress responses. Pichardo explains that understanding whether one tends to "fight, flight, freeze, [or] fawn" in response to activation is the first step toward gaining agency. This self-knowledge allows individuals to identify their triggers and anticipate their reactions, paving the way for intentional intervention. The subsequent question, "what do you need to feel grounded and secure enough to face conflict instead?" directly connects self-awareness to actionable strategies for constructive engagement. Douthirt-Cohen further normalizes these strong reactions, reminding students that the brain-body system often doesn’t distinguish between a physical threat and a perceived social threat, thus reducing shame associated with intense emotional responses.

5. Emotional Literacy and Sensory Mapping:
In contrast to traditional academic settings that often compartmentalize logic from emotion, Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen integrate both, teaching that "head and heart, that thinking and understanding together actually support deeper learning and greater self-awareness." They introduce tools like emotion wheels to help participants articulate their feelings, moving beyond vague "I think" statements to precise "I feel" expressions. When verbalizing emotions proves difficult, the focus shifts back to physical sensations: "Where are you feeling a sensation—a kind of tension—in your body around this topic?" This practice helps individuals connect their internal experience to external dialogue, making their responses more authentic and informed.

6. Facilitators as Models and Guides:
A crucial aspect of their teaching involves the facilitators themselves acting as models. Douthirt-Cohen notes, "We will lower our voices. We will get more in our bodies. We will name what’s going on for us." This transparency, such as a facilitator stating, "I really feel my heart beating fast right now. That tells me my body’s feeling stuff, things are happening," normalizes emotional responses and demonstrates how to engage with them constructively. They also clarify that the goal of somatic work is not to "calm people down" or achieve artificial harmony. Instead, it is to enable individuals to be "centered and grounded and full of rage and still in dialogue, still facing." The ultimate aim is increased capacity and choice, allowing for authentic engagement amidst profound differences, rather than suppressing genuine feelings.

The Dance of Patience and Courage

The pedagogical framework employed by Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen aligns remarkably with the psychological and neuroscientific research on patience and courage. Dr. Sarah Schnitker and her colleagues describe these as complementary virtues: excessive patience can lead to apathy, while insufficient patience manifests as recklessness. The ideal balance, they find, empowers individuals "to do what is needed to act in service of love and justice," with patience providing the space for conscious choice and courage enabling action despite difficulty.

This dynamic is evident in their classrooms. Pichardo describes moments where students, experiencing "emotional elevation," take a deep breath before asserting, "Actually, I’m not OK with that. Actually, that feels really harmful." This act, she observes, is not judgmental but aims to raise awareness of the impact of words. It exemplifies the courage to speak one’s truth while maintaining the patience and grace to remain in relationship, upholding the inherent dignity of all parties.

Douthirt-Cohen further highlights "patience for self," particularly among white students or faculty engaging in dialogues about race. She witnesses individuals practicing patience for "not already having arrived, for not being perfect, for not knowing what to say." This self-compassion is crucial for learning and growth. Equally powerful are moments when any participant, regardless of identity, states, "I am feeling something and I need us to slow down." This act of self-honoring, especially within the power dynamics of higher education, is inherently brave and, by extension, honors others in the room, fostering a co-regulated environment where authentic engagement can thrive. The work, Douthirt-Cohen concludes, is "really brave work, to have conversations where you’re not pretending to get along."

Embracing Lack of Closure and Sustaining Connection

As sessions or semesters conclude, Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen address the often-unsettling reality of "lack of closure." Especially when dealing with deep-seated issues of identity, power differences, and inequities, neat resolutions are rare. They proactively set this expectation, asking participants to reflect on what feels unfinished, what they wish to take away, and what they choose to leave behind. This approach acknowledges that transformation is an ongoing process, not a finite event. As adrienne maree brown suggests, "People are gonna have the conversation that they need to have in that space," implying that the value lies in the process and the individual insights gained, rather than a definitive resolution.

Despite the acceptance of ongoing work, the importance of closing rituals is not overlooked. Douthirt-Cohen emphasizes the need to "honor our humanity" by creating a rhythm of beginning and ending. She references a practice by Dr. Carlton Green, where participants stand in a circle and express gratitude. This act of gratitude, understood as a somatic practice, can "shift mood and shift possibility," not to gloss over differences, but to reinforce connection and humanity. It grounds the shared experience in mutual respect, fostering a sense of relational continuity even as the formal dialogue concludes.

Broader Impact and Implications

The work pioneered by Jazmin Pichardo and Beth Douthirt-Cohen at the University of Maryland holds profound implications far beyond the confines of academic settings. In a world increasingly characterized by social and political polarization, the ability to engage in healthy conflict and "choose relationship" across deep divides is a critical skill for societal cohesion and progress.

1. Strengthening Civil Discourse:
The principles of somatic awareness, emotional literacy, and values-based grounding are directly applicable to public discourse. By training individuals to understand their own reactions and to approach disagreement with an intent to learn rather than to dominate, these programs cultivate a citizenry more capable of nuanced, respectful, and productive conversations on complex issues. This can mitigate the erosion of civil discourse, which often devolves into shouting matches or mutual avoidance.

2. Enhancing Workplace and Community Collaboration:
Beyond campus, the skills of engaging constructively in conflict are invaluable in professional and community settings. From corporate boardrooms to local town halls, effective collaboration often falters due to unresolved interpersonal conflicts, power imbalances, and an inability to navigate diverse perspectives. Training that emphasizes "choosing relationship" and embodied self-awareness can foster more inclusive decision-making, stronger team dynamics, and more resilient community bonds.

3. Fostering Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Initiatives:
The explicit focus on engaging across "differences of power and identity" makes this work particularly relevant for advancing DEI goals. By providing concrete tools for discussing sensitive topics like systemic injustice and lived experiences of marginalization, these programs empower individuals to participate in these crucial conversations without collapsing into defensiveness or disengagement. This helps move DEI efforts beyond superficial acknowledgments to deeper, transformative dialogue and action.

4. Cultivating Individual Well-being:
For individuals, developing the capacity to face conflict without abandoning themselves or their relationships contributes significantly to mental and emotional well-being. Reduced shame associated with strong emotions, increased self-awareness, and the ability to respond intentionally rather than react impulsively can lead to greater self-efficacy and healthier relationships in all spheres of life.

The University of Maryland’s commitment, driven by the expertise of Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen, represents a vital investment in the human capacity for constructive engagement. Their systematic approach to building embodied skills for conflict resolution offers a powerful antidote to societal fragmentation, promising a future where individuals are better equipped to navigate their collective existence with integrity, empathy, and a persistent commitment to shared understanding. The journey of "shifting our culture so that we can talk, work, and be better humans together" is long and complex, but with such intentional training, the path forward becomes clearer, more humane, and ultimately, more hopeful.